I’m working, sitting on the couch with the laptop on my thighs, my twenty one week pregnant belly in my lap, and my shirt riding up over said belly…pretty much because it doesn’t fit anymore and I still put it on.
You can’t see it, but I’m exposing myself to you there in the computer. Slowly.
Yesterday, we heard our baby’s heartbeat.
So freaking cool.
And we found a new ob practice that we love, love, LOVE. It’s two doctors, a nurse practitioner, and a certified nurse midwife who was a doula for seven years. We couldn’t be happier with their backgrounds, personalities, and their respect and trust in women.
So freaking cool. If you’re in St. Louis and want this kind of ob/gyn practice, just email me.
Okay, you guys, even though some days are super tough this homeschooling thing can be so much fun. I totally thought we’d kill each other but it’s been really nice to have Daniel around. I like him around so much that I feel bad Brett isn’t here more.
(Brett does not want to be here more.)
Today was one of those days I realized how nice it is to see him more. See, he wants his friends over after they get out of school, so guess who is extra super special on top of his schoolwork? While he is working hard on math (for once), he looks up at the television that is on super low volume and just kind of running because we forgot about it. I’m working, he’s working, no one is paying attention. Until this moment, anyway.
Daniel says, “MOM, CHANGE THE CHANNEL IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT LOOK AT IT.”
Uh, okay? So I do and ask that the devil that was about. He tells me that Andrew Zimmer show was on, the “Bizarre Foods” one and with my queasiness at wads and slabs of meat products, he didn’t want me to accidentally see anything there.
Awwwwww.
I’m still pregnant, and that’s pretty damn exciting. I’m also still homeschooling. And working. And well, the holidays. I owe you wedding posts and honeymoon posts but girlplease, we have to talk about some things. Specifically, the awesomeness of pregnancy when you are (this time around) not depressed and old.
When I had the boys, I was a spry teenager. I had energy, I felt very little discomfort for most of it, and while my previously skinny body after pregnancy morphed right into the sturdy German matron that my paternal family enjoys, I did bounce back pretty well. The difference this time is really big. I am starting out already a sturdy German matron and although I’m only fourteen weeks I look (according to the one-size body shape in the pregnancy books) like I’m around six months along. There’s no hiding this belly, but it’s okay by me. It means baby is growing, and that’s the plan.
My boobs are killing me. KILLING ME. Taking of my now way too-small bra at night hurts like a motherbitch. But my new, larger bras aren’t so much helping either at take-off time. All of the time, my nipples are stupid sensitive. In the shower, I say a good “damn” every so often when I accidentally hit them. Who knew I hit my nipples so much? Or for that matter, that Scott elbowed my boobs as often as he does. I’m always like, have you always been so angry at my boobs?
I’m sick, but getting better. Grocery stores are not okay, not at all. I’m truly irritated by my lack of keeping my gorge down when in the store because it’s one of the few chores I kind of LIKE doing. I feel terrible when the nice deli person asks if I want to sample the ham and holds out a piece and I turn green and leave. Oh, and I’m still exhausted to the point to falling asleep to every movie or tv show on after 5pm. I even just bought the original 1980s “Clash of the Titans” because I fucking love that movie and I couldn’t stay awake. (Side note: After watching this again, I am pretty sure this movie is why I am an art historian. Greek gods? Medusa? Pegasus? HELL YES GIMME MOARMOARMOAR!)
But here’s the difference in all of this. I notice the symptoms. My mom reports that my last two pregnancies were just like this one but I? I don’t know. I don’t remember much. I remember being a little sick, and a lot tired with Daniel (probably only because I was still in high school)…but I don’t remember much of my pregnancies, Brett’s especially. I remember their births, the moment of their births but it’s harder to remember their labors. I know this, at this time of my life, I was on autopilot. I stayed that way for years.
My sister commented to me how much HARDER pregnancy is when you are awake. She’s right. It’s hard, and exhausting, and I’m really tired of some parts of it. But you know, I’m really happy to be here for it this time.
I just learned this morning that throwing up from morning/afternoon/night sickness will also cause you to pee a little.
Posting is light; I’m too busy being sexy over here. Urrrrrrgh.
*Annnnnd, now I have a raging cold.