Sugared Harpy

I’m baking a peach pie. A peach pie baked with a huge mound of fresh summer peaches my Papa collected for me. I’m using my mom’s 1972 Betty Crocker cookbook for the pie filling, and an old 1981 Julia Child’s recipe for pie crust.

My Papa is a farmer. The day he gave me the giant box of peaches, he asked, “You like tomatoes, right?”

I replied, “Oh, yes!”

The next day, my sweet grandfather had a cantaloupe and a huge box of amazing fresh tomatoes waiting for me. I gave half to my sister and we’ve been eating four or five a day, and the box is still full.

You can’t help but feel loved with food like this.

Or more correctly, Auntie Anne has bargain!

Anne sent this to me this morning: apparently Nordstrom’s E.L.F line is being redesigned into Nordstrom branding. MOST THINGS ARE $1. Yes, A DOLLAH. And their more expensive Studio line things are like $3.

I just ordered a buttload of stuff! And the kicker, use the coupon code CAROLINA and you get $7.50 off if you spend $15 or more. For $14 with shipping, I bought 13 makeup items. Whoa.

Go getcha some!

Updated: So, it’s not a scam but not the same kind of deal as I thought. The lovely Isabel let me know that wellll, E.L.F is always a dollar. Always. However, she and a few others I’ve talked to actually like the line well enough and hey, this just means it will be this cheap in six months, or next year! Thanks, Isabel!

I can’t say enough good things about this past year. It’s been mighty difficult, I’ve had to do A LOT of soul searching/thinking/digging on many issues that I’ve either allowed myself to play the victim, swept under some 400 knot per inch mental rug, or didn’t really know how I stood in the first place. Handling a (super fast) growing teenager who doesn’t enjoy academics, living in a house I loved and hated, and dealing with a sensitive tween, plus learning about love in a way that was (and sometimes still is) unfamiliar to me has been hard.

But good.

Really, really good.

I’m learning how to listen better. To my kids. To my partner. Ultimately, to me. I started listening to my sister and how she handled her tween daughter and realized it applied a lot to Daniel and his issues. She said, “We’re gonna be BEST FRIENDS to her daughter. We’re gonna spend hella time together until we’re okay.” And you know what? It worked well. Instead of either flailing or getting angry or not dealing at all (dissociation, anyone?) I watched her and copied her like a bitch.

“Hello, Daniel. We’re gonna be BESTIES until we’re okay.”

We’re not okay yet, but it’s working. Every day after school, he gets to spend time with me at the kitchen table. Together, we do his homework and if he conveniently forgets his homework, OH HAI INTERNETS, we do togetherness Mama homework. He seems to feel supported, I’m less frustrated, we’re actually having a good time and his grades are creeping upward.

I also started listening to Brett more, but then realizing that I’m the Mama and need to change some things. At our house of three, it was more than easy to let Brett slip into the “baby” of the house. But I realized as we were gearing up to living in a house of five, that this is actually an issue that’s stunting him. He’s always been sensitive to change, but he was actually starting to just break down instead of handling it. He needs to learn how to find ways to soothe himself, find ways to garner some comfort in a new situation. He also needed to learn how to ASK for help, instead of breaking down and requiring it. Asking for help is hard to learn how to do. I’m not quite there myself. But we’re talking about it, and it seems to be making him more confident. It’s hard for me not to baby him, but to have him learn to tell me what he needs in a calm way. It’s better for all of us, though.

I’m learning how to be good to my partner. I’m trying to listen to him as much as I am trying to get my point across. I think for a long time it was me grasping to get across what I wanted or needed, and not really getting that I can’t change someone else. I can change me only. But I can learn to better pinpoint, then say directly, what parts I need help with from him. I’m learning how to be normal…as I can be anyway. And I’ve realized that I don’t want to change him. I love him as he is; he seems to feel the same and happily takes me in as I am.

Don’t let this sound like I have things figured out, though. I don’t. But I’m trying, failing, trying again. I’m happy. I’ve got a lot of happy here.

This past year, some (a lot of) stuff has happened around here. Here’s 2008 in posts:

January: A book I contributed to was published.

February: I fell in love and it made me go nutty

March: I reminded you about Michelangelo’s tits. Because I can’t let that go.

April: I clearly noted that Brett was getting a tad clingy and encouraged it. Well, sometimes they just need that and sometimes it just makes them under confident. Who knows.

May: I let Daniel fly a plane. I cried, but didn’t pass out. He smiled for weeks.

June: My laptop died, I bought a new one. And gifted you with some Badu, you know we all needed it.

July: I dyed my hair purple (instead of the pink I sported all the rest of the year) and then showed you my underwear. I blogged that purple hair day by day. I’m sorry.

August: I joined a local food sharing group and loved it. I definitely think harder now about where food is coming from and how much better it tastes when it hasn’t ripened in the inside of a smelly truck.

September: My cousin passed away.

October: My boyfriend and I decided to buy a house together! So much talking ensued.

November: And then we did. Living together has been the easiest thing we’ve done.

December: Love is good.

Happy, happy, happy new year!

Really, what do you guys do if you are throwing a party? Tips? Menu ideas that allow you to actually be in the party, and not in the kitchen?

We ARE excited though, this house is built for people. We can’t wait to have them all here! If you live close by, email me!

Here is the last of what the purple looked like. I had to pull up the tiniest top layer of my hair so you could see this:

Here I am with the pink again! This is Hot Hot Pink from Manic Panic, layered on the upper portion of my hair on top of that leftover purple.

My mirror is full of toothpaste spots.

Since I was about to hop in the shower, I am also nude :)

Day 8:

Day 9 with still damp hair:

By my roots, still pretty. The ends are starting to get ashy gray/purple.

I need a category for stupid hair blogging.

Huh, it looks more blue today in person. Not so much in the picture. Maybe this time it’s going to stay purple longer!

When I asked Brett to pick out my next fun hair color, I expected him to choose a color I really LIKED.

No, kid went for that stupid Ultra Violet rolling around in my bathroom cabinet. (See #81 of my 100 Things: 81. I tried purple. It turned to gray pretty quickly. Do not want.) Do not want!

But you know you can’t ask your son to choose your hair color and then tell him, “No, not that one. Pick my choice.” So you dye your hair stupid Ultra Violet anyway, because you love the boy.

And it’s pretty on day one or two, but it will quickly – AND I MEAN EVERY TIME YOU WASH YOUR FOOL HAIR – fade from a deep lovely shiny dark violet on day one to an ashy ass gray by day seven. Thankfully, I think my Hot Hot Pink covers anything. It’s freaking burgundy in the jar.

Here’s what it looks like today, on day three before it starts sucking, when it’s still a decent lavendar color:

The hell? What am I being all wistful about? Somedayyyyyy my prince will come!

(Hopefully, not on my person.)

(Ahem.)

Here is another shot. A blurry one.

I’m tryin’ hard to think
And I think that I want you on the floor
Uh huh, yeah on the floor!

Well, maybe on my person…depends.

Uh, sorry.

Oh hey! I was trying to see if I could get the purple hair from the back view. And I got a back view, indeed. This one is just so you know how I’m dressed when I work and blog and read.

I’m not lying when I say I’m in my underwear all day.

It’s alive!

It’s not perfect yet…but it’s not gone. And lo, for the past few days I thought the entire thing was GONE.