Sugared Harpy

Or more correctly, Auntie Anne has bargain!

Anne sent this to me this morning: apparently Nordstrom’s E.L.F line is being redesigned into Nordstrom branding. MOST THINGS ARE $1. Yes, A DOLLAH. And their more expensive Studio line things are like $3.

I just ordered a buttload of stuff! And the kicker, use the coupon code CAROLINA and you get $7.50 off if you spend $15 or more. For $14 with shipping, I bought 13 makeup items. Whoa.

Go getcha some!

Updated: So, it’s not a scam but not the same kind of deal as I thought. The lovely Isabel let me know that wellll, E.L.F is always a dollar. Always. However, she and a few others I’ve talked to actually like the line well enough and hey, this just means it will be this cheap in six months, or next year! Thanks, Isabel!

I have strep throat. This sucks balls and I am more than displeased. When talking to Scott about it the other night (I have to talk about it a lot, until my sore throat makes me stop my whining) he said that years ago he ended up in the emergency room because it felt like he was swallowing his uvula.

!!!!

I was all:

!!!!! OH MAH GAH.

But lo, the very next day guess what I could feel? MY UVULA. Only mine felt more like it was stuck, unswallowed, than it felt like I was going to swallow it. Still, ew. Gross. No.

Today I still feel my uvula. I’m on antibiotics finally, after admitting something was horribly wrong and waiting for an hour and a half at URGENT (my ass) care. My throat/gland swelling is down on one side a bit but not the other and that’s where I feel my uvula. It’s just there, floating against my swollen gland, sweeping up when I cough or try to pull up phelgm (mmmm) or sweeping down when I swallow (phlegm). I tried eating chicken with rice soup yesterday and couldn’t tell if it was rice or uvula that kept getting stuck in my throat.

Sometimes it was uvula.

I’ve finally figured out this Facebook hoohaa. Holy cow, I have found and been found by a lot of people I used to love. And then my exuberance convinced Scott to join.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Complete domination of his thinking is underway.

We’ve been in this house for a month and I’ve already gone domestic. I’m trying to meal plan. I have no idea what I’m doing yet but I’m hoping to figure this out better. I’m attempting to stop pouring money out of my wallet. Scott can spend all the money he wants but I need him to fund my retirement and my love of fine, fine things. I currently have enough in my retirement fund to retire for one whole month, grumblegrumbleparttimerforthekidslovemyjobetcgrumble.

I’m the one doing this because I’m the primary cook in the house. I’m home hours before he is, so I’m the one cooking dinner. Ergo, I have most control of this area. We now share a checking account for household expenses, but past that we each also have our own checking accounts. My grandmother told me to NEVER share all your money with a man. She was right, I’ve learned. She’s eighty years old and she still says, right in front of my Papa who she’s been married to for 40+ years, “He knows I have money, but he DOESN’T know where. You know who knows now? Your mother. That’s it.”

So then, I’m saving household money and my own personal money. I need that for mah fancy student loans. Meh.

Here’s my fabulous money saving plan:

1) Eat all the crap in our pantry that followed us from both our houses.

Our pantry is not big, and it’s CRAMMED full right now. Crammed. We don’t know what’s in there. I made two, two year + cans of Manwich yesterday. Neither of us care for sloppy joes all that much, so why did we each have a can of it from our previous houses? Turns out, we both thought it was something you should have on hand because it’s easy. It was pretty greasy in the end. And no easier than most of the things we make. Won’t be buying up more of that. In fact, I’m buying NOTHING more for the pantry until it’s way clearer. Interesting dinner combinations are on the way.

2) Budget.

Then blow the budgeted amount for food and household in about a week and a half and reconsider how much I spend and how much we need. These first few months are going to be about experimenting. I keep reading that people are making (MAKING!) money by “buying” stuff at Walgreens, because of that little rebatey thing plus coupons giving them an overage. I see people feeding their families of our size on WAY less than I just spent last week. I also will need to budget in the occasional fancier dinners we like (also: Saleem’s on Delmar, FOR WHY ARE YOU CLOSED? Ah! I just read the phone is disconnected. COME BACK!)…ahem. And Melting Pot desserts.

I figure if we eat out less, that is one gigantic money saver. Add that to shopping deliberately, cooking at home, planning and using coupons when applicable (a lot of junk with coupons are things I don’t buy anyway, mostly I don’t buy many convenience foods besides mac n’ cheese). I have noticed that people get toothpaste and shampoo free all the time. FREE. I need some of that.

3) That brings us to meal planning. If I plan meals, I can shop deliberately and waste less.

I mentioned this to my friend who plans meals and she asked me this, “So are you doing this on a monthly rotation? Bi-monthly? Yearly? Are you batch cooking yet?”

And I was all, “ffffppphhhhsaegboiufgnyfwentqi8yhb????”

I can’t say enough good things about this past year. It’s been mighty difficult, I’ve had to do A LOT of soul searching/thinking/digging on many issues that I’ve either allowed myself to play the victim, swept under some 400 knot per inch mental rug, or didn’t really know how I stood in the first place. Handling a (super fast) growing teenager who doesn’t enjoy academics, living in a house I loved and hated, and dealing with a sensitive tween, plus learning about love in a way that was (and sometimes still is) unfamiliar to me has been hard.

But good.

Really, really good.

I’m learning how to listen better. To my kids. To my partner. Ultimately, to me. I started listening to my sister and how she handled her tween daughter and realized it applied a lot to Daniel and his issues. She said, “We’re gonna be BEST FRIENDS to her daughter. We’re gonna spend hella time together until we’re okay.” And you know what? It worked well. Instead of either flailing or getting angry or not dealing at all (dissociation, anyone?) I watched her and copied her like a bitch.

“Hello, Daniel. We’re gonna be BESTIES until we’re okay.”

We’re not okay yet, but it’s working. Every day after school, he gets to spend time with me at the kitchen table. Together, we do his homework and if he conveniently forgets his homework, OH HAI INTERNETS, we do togetherness Mama homework. He seems to feel supported, I’m less frustrated, we’re actually having a good time and his grades are creeping upward.

I also started listening to Brett more, but then realizing that I’m the Mama and need to change some things. At our house of three, it was more than easy to let Brett slip into the “baby” of the house. But I realized as we were gearing up to living in a house of five, that this is actually an issue that’s stunting him. He’s always been sensitive to change, but he was actually starting to just break down instead of handling it. He needs to learn how to find ways to soothe himself, find ways to garner some comfort in a new situation. He also needed to learn how to ASK for help, instead of breaking down and requiring it. Asking for help is hard to learn how to do. I’m not quite there myself. But we’re talking about it, and it seems to be making him more confident. It’s hard for me not to baby him, but to have him learn to tell me what he needs in a calm way. It’s better for all of us, though.

I’m learning how to be good to my partner. I’m trying to listen to him as much as I am trying to get my point across. I think for a long time it was me grasping to get across what I wanted or needed, and not really getting that I can’t change someone else. I can change me only. But I can learn to better pinpoint, then say directly, what parts I need help with from him. I’m learning how to be normal…as I can be anyway. And I’ve realized that I don’t want to change him. I love him as he is; he seems to feel the same and happily takes me in as I am.

Don’t let this sound like I have things figured out, though. I don’t. But I’m trying, failing, trying again. I’m happy. I’ve got a lot of happy here.

This past year, some (a lot of) stuff has happened around here. Here’s 2008 in posts:

January: A book I contributed to was published.

February: I fell in love and it made me go nutty

March: I reminded you about Michelangelo’s tits. Because I can’t let that go.

April: I clearly noted that Brett was getting a tad clingy and encouraged it. Well, sometimes they just need that and sometimes it just makes them under confident. Who knows.

May: I let Daniel fly a plane. I cried, but didn’t pass out. He smiled for weeks.

June: My laptop died, I bought a new one. And gifted you with some Badu, you know we all needed it.

July: I dyed my hair purple (instead of the pink I sported all the rest of the year) and then showed you my underwear. I blogged that purple hair day by day. I’m sorry.

August: I joined a local food sharing group and loved it. I definitely think harder now about where food is coming from and how much better it tastes when it hasn’t ripened in the inside of a smelly truck.

September: My cousin passed away.

October: My boyfriend and I decided to buy a house together! So much talking ensued.

November: And then we did. Living together has been the easiest thing we’ve done.

December: Love is good.

Happy, happy, happy new year!