Selfish Bastard
Note: this is a rant. It may or may not make a lick of sense.
Hello, I am a selfish bastard but at this moment, I’m not exactly feeling apologetic about it.
Like most women, I have usually been a hell of a lot less selfish than I should have been. And right now, like for the past two years, I’m getting my selfish in. I needed to find me, find what I needed, and do those things I needed to do. All of those things are necessary to be happy.
But right now, I just plain feel selfish about wanting my own happiness. The situation with NB and his child is crazy right now. No one knows what’s going to happen and I’m feeling like a prick for wondering about how this affects me, instead of being wholly supportive to him and keeping my feelings shut inside.
I am sure life would be easier for him if I did that.
I haven’t, completely. Partially, yes, but not wholly. I want to be happy. I want to be the happy that we are and the strong couple that we are. And we are. But I am being super sensitive to comments he makes. I’m not sure how to decrease that sensitivity right now. Not at all.
Posted by Melissa on May 14th, 2008 under Observations
May 15th, 2008 at 6:14 am
Sensitivity and feeling a sense of loss when your relationship changes (good OR bad) does NOT make you a selfish bastard. It makes you a human, having your feelings, just like everyone else has their feelings. That is ALL it makes you.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:36 am
better to be honest aboutyour sensitivity now than to let it build to hyper sensitivity that explodes and makes other wise rational relationships explodes..
May 15th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Hang in there woman! It will work out the same as when he met you and your babies. Everything is going to be fine. You’re not selfish, you’re just a bastard like me, haha! Just kidding, i love you……..it will work out! Stop over thinking!
May 15th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Am catching up here. I’m with Raquita. I have let sensitity build and yes it does make otherwise rational relationships explode. So just be up front and honest with him. KNow where its coming from tho first. If you understand it better, you’ll have a better chance at getting him to understand.
So happy to hear the Easter stuff went great. YEAY!
May 15th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I think you have a right to have your feelings and you have every right to OWN up to your feelings. Selfish or not (and I dont believe this is selfish).
May 15th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Don’t you think the “selfish” thing is one of the bestest gifts of aging? I mean.. maturing? Er… becoming older and more totally fucking awesome?
I know my 30’s are a much more assertive and generally rocking womanish time than my 20’s were:)
So, lemme say: you rock.