We went
So we went to NB’s family gathering for Mother’s Day.
We walked in, and immediately Brett is off in a corner, crying. AWESOME.
Turns out, his cousin has an enormous dog and I forget (because I win Motherhood) that Brett is really scared of big dogs. This dog is named SUMO. So introductions are stalled while Daniel flits off to introduce himself and be the social butterfly and I console Brett, the dog is put downstairs.
But what struck me was how kind his family was in that situation. Everyone checked on him, shared with him about their own fears of dogs and other scaries, and generally was very sweet, lively, and kind.
Our own fears were in full bloom, too.
You see, the five of us went. All in one car. Him, his daughter E., Daniel, Brett, me. All arrived and accounted for. It was scary but it was also totally fine. E hung with my kids even though she certainly wasn’t required to. Daniel played with all the little kids for hours and hours. Brett was a bit more broody but was funny and smiled. NB and I, fine.
Happy.
There’s a lot happening right now. It’s not my story to share (don’t you love that), but it could mean changes in our relationship that (again) I’m scared about. I’m dating a man who is an every other weekend custody dad, but who is fully engaged. I may be soon dating a man who is a full time custody dad instead.
I have no say in the matter, as I shouldn’t, and he is rightfully basing decisions on what’s best for his daughter and him. I wouldn’t have him any other way. I love that he is a good father, but it will affect us. We’ll have to learn how to date as two full custody parents…how do you DO that? When you do see your partner alone? How do you put the kids first without losing the two of you?
Lo, the talking has begun. YES, AGAIN. It’s a constant.
Posted by Melissa on May 12th, 2008 under Boyfriendlies, Spawn
May 13th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Oh, they sound awesome, all of them. I am so happy you had such a good day, and that you’ve found someone in whom you can really invest, you know what I mean?
Yay, yay, yay.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Wow, I always wondered how full custody parents dated! I’m guessing it involves lots of sleepovers and trips to the cineplex. Because I’m pretty sure you can no longer just send all the kids out to play until dark. Kinda sad really….
May 13th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I think you’ll be able to work it out. If anyone can, you can, because you are a very smart, compassionate person. And he sounds like he is, too.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am
You have your own sitcom..you know?
Hubby has part time, every other..now, then, can you, will you..babysit, drive..school..scouts, soccer. A million years ago there were rules, not so much anymore. I think if we or I had kids it would be totally nuts, now it’s just nuts.