On boyfriends
Once you have made the realization that this guy - the one you are sleeping with - the one you’re spending nearly every day with and hey, actually like - is your boyfriend, you have set a whole lot of shit in motion.
Specifically, a relationship.
We didn’t MEAN to start one. We MEANT to get in each other’s pants and stay there until we found other pants to climb into. This relationship just, well, worked.
It’s working so amazingly well.
But damns, people. I didn’t know it would bring so much else with it. Like, issues regarding our past relationships, how we started ours, families, friends, day to day life. Sheesh. He donated the hats that were bothering me. I am trying to feel more secure and actually say what my issue is. When it’s just the two of us, it’s beautiful. When we’re out with others, it’s still beautiful…but now we have to think about what we’re doing here.
We think we know. Maybe.
Love changes things. The concept that this is my partner changes things. The feeling that you want someone as a permanent fixture in your life changes things.
But for us, what doesn’t change is that we have teen children who have been through a lot and that we’ve been through a lot. Living together and marriage isn’t on immediate to-do list. But regardless of us, we’re realizing that we’re building a family here. Our three kids and us are equaling something. It’s weird, neither one of us is sure what to do, but whether it’s him, me, and my children…or him, me, and his daughter…or all five us, it looks like something.
Especially to a family event. Like Mother’s Day tomorrow.
I’m not sure if the boys and I are going to go to his family’s get together, as invited. But it brings up a lot in my head. That I’m doing something here. Something good, most likely. But scary, nonetheless.
Posted by Melissa on May 10th, 2008 under Boyfriendlies
May 10th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I can imagine being a mom with a boyfriend IS complex and crazed. Here’s hoping it’s mostly good crazy! :) A very Happy Mother’s Day to you, darlin’!
May 10th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
He gave away the hats?
I love this man.
Yes, happy Mother’s Day. And congratulations on making it to the edge of another thrilling precipice.
Delicious.
May 12th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
You love him, the kids love him, he loves you and the kids, his kid loves you and you love his kid. It is what it is and it’s great! I’m happy for you all!
May 12th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
[…] we went to NB’s family gathering for Mother’s […]
May 13th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
That’s sweet and so nice. It’s funny the way that some of the most important things in our lives just happen sometimes.
No need to rush. If you have a good thing, you’ll figure it out in time.
May 20th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
[…] This is all in my head as we discuss where we are going with this thing we have. […]