Fuck Me

I don’t know what to do when I get turned down for sex. I’ve spent a lifetime having an uneven sex drive with my partners, me low, them high. I don’t know how to handle it now when hey, sometimes NB doesn’t want to this very moment when I do.

It’s fine that he doesn’t. He’s not 17 and can, oddly enough, control himself. This is well and good.

Except, I don’t understand. It’s completely outside my realm of comprehension.

I immediately think any number of the following:
I’m obviously unattractive to him.
He finds my nakedness about as titillating as a block of stone.
My advances are stupid and a waste.
Wow, he’d rather do anything but this with me.

I FAIL at normal relationships. How dysfunctional can I make this one?

10 Responses to “Fuck Me”

  1. NotAMeanGirl Says:

    Girl… we’ve all been there. I’m married and I STILL live there… it’s not just you. Insecurity is a part of our genes I think… Hold yer head high! Yer a babe!

  2. Karen Ross Smith Says:

    I feel exactly the same. I’m usually the one saying no, but when I get rejected……it must be because I have a puss filled boil protruding from my neck or I smell bad. I never seem to be able to accept “sweetie, I’m just tired”.

    WFT?

    I always thought I must have brain damage, it’s good to hear that it’s normal!

  3. joaaanna Says:

    Same here.

  4. delagar Says:

    Well, yes, but when you say no, it’s not b/c you don’t find him attractive, is it? It’s about you, then, not about him. So this is too (about him, not about you, I mean).

    Go to your happy place and remind yourself of that.

    Also, have some rum and coke. (It works for me!)

  5. Melissa Says:

    Delagar, oh yes, this is definitely about my own issues!

  6. ~JJ! Says:

    Shit. I’m like that with my HUSBAND!

    And I don’t know what to do either…

  7. Catizhere Says:

    Joe was diagnosed with type II diabetes. The meds he is on, shall we say, DEFLATES his libido.
    Even though I KNOW THIS, it still hurts me when he can’t/won’t perform.

    Nothing makes me feel older, fatter & uglier than hearing him say, “You can try, but I can’t promise anything….”
    yeah. Like I’m going to WORK for it.

  8. Amy in StL Says:

    I’m in the same boat. I used to be on the low side, but suddently my BF has a lower drive than I do. Weird, huh? After years of having to say no…

  9. Melissa Says:

    Cat, that scares me to no end.

    Amy, YES. After all these years…here I am too.

  10. Woud love to Says:

    You’d never get turned down by me, NEVER

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