Dear Patriarchy, part 5928872
You can suck it.
Suck. It.
Do you hear me?
Just because I was the wife in a nearly ten year marriage does not mean that I am automatically “secondary” on all of our accounts and suddenly HAVE NO CREDIT.
Three cars (two in my name only for fuck’s sake), one mortgage, on-time utilities, and several credit cards (some in my name only) over the years - all in good standing - equal one awesome credit report for him, the credit history of a child for me.
I am pissed, Patriarchy. Pissed.
Posted by Melissa on September 6th, 2007 under Flaming Ovaries
September 7th, 2007 at 7:40 am
Ooooh! That’s crap! Why? I don’t understand that!
September 7th, 2007 at 7:52 am
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you SERIOUS?! You better fight this thing.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Oooh! I’m so glad I popped by from OTJ’s place…So nice to meet you…
So I have a question.
Did you really go purple with your hair?
I’m thinking of doing it underneath by the neck, not the entire head..
Advice?
And if you were just joking. You can ignore this comment.
I’m gonna go read some archives…
September 7th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Really? I thought I was playing it safe, getting cards in my name (and keeping some in my maiden name, even). So if, god forbid, something happened, I’d be up shit’s creek too?
The patriarchy can suck on it’s own tiny, shriveled dick. WTF?
September 7th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I am kind of wondering if the maiden name thing would help a bit.
We thought we were always building credit in both our names and a few years ago when we refinanced our mortgage, we got to see our credit scores and mine was fanfuckingtastic!
September 7th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Shit, that bites. Is it because of taking his name? Is that it? IBP!!!
September 7th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Delagar, I believe YES. That’s why. Hells yes, IBP.
So for all those who have the romantic notion of taking your husband’s name…think a bit about it. What if you divorce or he passes away before you?
It makes you feel like you never existed.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
O goody you’re still here. Melissa I’m “retiring” at the end of this month. I’m free!!! Oh mama so free! I have unlimited time to wrest my granddaughters from their unaware parents [okay, so those are my children, but whatever] and do what ever in the hell I please. Which is to be teach my girlies to ask a lot of annoying questions, learn from them how to wriggle and wear costumes that suit my mood, write a bunch of little program grants for tiny little historical societies, AND hang with my faraway sisters on the internet.
I know for sure at least one reason I’m still married is because I never had the courage to face the no-credit-for-you-missy-you-earn-like-a-girl-society that is the United States. We are so fucked. In so many ways.
Let’s attempt another lunch time? I’ll drive to wherever.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
oh, and ironically enough, this probably arrived to you from glen’s email address, because that’s the default for our computer. That I paid for.
Em
September 8th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Yes, patriarchy blows. And people wonder why Jeff and I aren’t rushing to get married. . .
September 9th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
This totally sucks.
I was really upset when we bought our house recently, and my name was listed second on every single piece of paperwork we signed.
And I had to do a lot of work calling the credit agencies before we bought the house, too, because taking my husband’s name had caused a lot of tangled-up incorrect weirdness in my credit record. (This on top of the weirdness that already existed because people just can’t spell my first name.)
I regret taking my husband’s name all the time; I didn’t do it right away, but finally caved after several months because a.) it placated my husband’s Catholic grandmothers, and b.) I was REALLY tired of every single new doctor/nurse/receptionist I had to take my new baby to asking me, “Are you married to the father?”
I regret it, but I think I would still do it over again, because I want people to know in an emergency that my husband is my husband, and my son is my son.
We should have just all taken MY last name, damn it.
September 13th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Wow. Little has changed since the 1980s.
And I am pissed on your behalf.
September 27th, 2007 at 12:42 am
OH THAT MAKES ME MAD. ALL CAPS YELLING MAD!
May 20th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
[…] to commit myself financially, really, to someone else. After my divorce, I really struggled when I read my credit report. After much letter writing, all is well again. But to feel you didn’t exist for ten years […]