Things students have said to me in the last 24 hours:
Could you go over all the terms you’ve used since school started?
(After 30 minutes of covering Buddhism and Buddhist art) Do I need to know any of this for the test?
Hi, I never bought or borrowed or found a used copy or shared the book with anyone. Do you mind telling me all the dates for the images you’ve shown since school started?
Put the lube away. Well, put it away for the moment.
If you have not, you must – MUST – go see The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.
I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, “Hi, I see that you’re good at Centipede.”
Go.
Right freaking now!!
Date a man who is a father to a daughter.
Because when there is a water main break in your neighborhood you can use his shower and know there is decent shampoo in there.
I love that my kids asked for sushi tonight. Spicy tuna for Daniel and eel for Brett.
The transformation from suburbanite taste fear to adventurous eater is almost complete.
I need this shirt. NEED IT.
Only the sexy people…
Daniel is 13 today. There was a movie with friends, McDonald’s, and general nostalgia on the part of his mother.
“Right now you would be 10 minutes old!”
“Right now you would be 30 minutes old!”
You get the point.
But Daniel is a teenager now. And SO THRILLED about that fact that continuously tells people about it. Happy Birthday, buddy!
Holy mother of the gods, do ya’ll know about this ALLI stuff?
From their website:
~ While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings.
~ You may not usually get gassy, but it’s a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens
~ Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.
Oh my lands. I am not willing to sacrifice any last shreds of my dignity for a 30 pound weight loss.
Neither are the colleagues I was talking with today…”imagine,” my boss said, “sharting in class.”
Women, there has to be a better way (and if you don’t think this is marketed to women, go check out that website or watch a commercial).
You can suck it.
Suck. It.
Do you hear me?
Just because I was the wife in a nearly ten year marriage does not mean that I am automatically “secondary” on all of our accounts and suddenly HAVE NO CREDIT.
Three cars (two in my name only for fuck’s sake), one mortgage, on-time utilities, and several credit cards (some in my name only) over the years – all in good standing – equal one awesome credit report for him, the credit history of a child for me.
I am pissed, Patriarchy. Pissed.
I find it incredibly sweet that my children lock the front door behind them on their way to the bus.
Order For : Domino’s Pizza
Date/Time : Sep 3, 2007 at 05:11PM
Type of Order : Delivery
Order Total : $17.85
Estimated Time : Between 19 and 619 minutes.