Shakespearean Insult*
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007Saturday, friends and I attended the Shakespeare Festival in Forest Park.
All last week and several times before the Festival, I was told of last year’s events and the tragedy suffered. You see, these friends had attended last year. Or so they tried. They came early, set up chairs and enjoyed a picnic before the play. They wined and dined and jovially chatted the hour or so away, eagerly anticipating a gorgeous evening and a lovely performance.
Five minutes before the show, all hells broke loose. The sky opened and rain poured down. The friends had to hurry to gather things and themselves, hightailing it to various cars. The play shut down.
OMG y’all, guess what happened this year?
We brought the picnic, we sat in the chairs, we enjoyed the summery weather. Five minutes before the show, all hells broke loose again. Torrential downpour. We were soaked. At least last year, I’m told the afflicted just went to the movies.
There was no doing that this year.
By the time we got to the truck, my hair and cotton dress was plastered to me (an appealing sight to be sure, lovely lady lumps my ass). I swear it took eighty kajillion minutes to walk to the goddamned thing. When we finally made it, I lamely thought I could wring myself out a bit before actually squishing into the front seat, but failed miserably with the sideways rain and all.
NB peeled off his shirt to avoid sticking to the seat while driving home.** A few chuckles were had about this shirtless truck driving and the sheer awesomeness of it. I anxiously waited for the fantastic sirens and lights of a cop pulling him over.
I was giddy with the thought.
Not that he needed a ticket or anything that drastic, but to watch him get pulled over shirtless driving a truck gave me quite the tingle. It would be like an episode of C.O.P.S., only in REAL LIFE.
I believe I maniacally rubbed my hands together and cackled. And maybe prayed for it a little.
~~~
*Thou spleeny crook-pated scullian!
**Why, the newish boyfriend, of course.

