Sista!
Someone has asked a valid question:
“Sista! Where have you been and what can you tell us about it?”
INDEED.
I have been working, at home, reading your blogs (and uh, rarely commenting, sorry), and going to therapy.
Hells yes, I found a good therapist finally. Some of her first words to me were, “I’m just as fucked up as everyone else!” Ahhhh, the fit of someone unpretentious and excruciatingly normal is good for me. I can’t handle some pompous ass telling me what to do. My therapist, J we’ll call her, is not interested in telling me what to do but is there to faciliate what I need and want. And to enable me to find out what I need and want in the first place.
If anyone wants her info, just drop me a line. J is wonderful and oh my god helpful.
So, I’ve been in therapy. I’ve also been working, honing this craft of teaching college students.
Most of my classes I adore. I can’t wait to go, the students are great and the subject is MY thing, my passion. I am teaching a new literature course this semester I am adoring, because I’m an art historian you see and not a lit person but an art historian is a historian and we are READERS, man. This course looks at why the West (a whole other discussion on what is considered “West” and why is included in the course) we think the way we do, why we value what we do. It begins with primary source readings from the Ancient Near East and goes to the Enlightenment. The readings are appropriate and interesting, the students are talking, I’m loving it.
Another course is the bane of my existence. It’s an 8am class, so it’s already doomed. But it’s a weird collective survey course of ALL art forms. The visual arts, theatre, music, dance, literature. What the ever loving hell? It’s fun enough to make them understand that Baroque art is not Baroque music or that there are links between the stage and Baroque art…but it’s overwhelming and it’s 8am. They are not interested in the least. I usually get students to perk up around the Greek studies sections, but no. The class is awkward at best, I’m not at my usual fabulousness because of it, and they are tired and SILENT. Utterly silent and not really present inside those heads. It’s difficult for all of us. I don’t blame them, but ouch.
The good news is that it’s being eliminated next year. Thank god. It frees me up to teach something where I’m more useful and on my game and it saves another class from this too-broad course that would better serve students by just taking the history of art, OR the history of music, OR the history of dance, etc.
I have been busy taking the birth control pill. Because I am not getting pregnant. The transition was hard at first, but I was totally freaking out anyway and this feels better. In addition, my situation could not be any further from favorable for desiring another child. I wanted a baby with Mike, not just any ol’ baby, and since that’s not happening, I’m off the baby-desiring train. I’m on Loestrin FE and so far, so good. I’m me still, not a raging bitch (ha! I don’t think anyway! Where are you going??), I’m not suffering with any side effects except for more tender and slightly fuller breasts. Mmmm, fuller breasts.
I’m learning how to talk to Mike and he’s learning how to talk to me. We are not even close to being okay with how we speak to each other but we’re doing the best we can because of these little boys. He is seeing them about twice a week, taking them overnight and is still a parent. Because he is a parent to them and as long as he chooses that, I’m going to encourage it. They love him as a parent and have for most of their lives. I’m not going to take that away from them.
Speaking of children, Daniel is already loving and hating this new school. I mean, he ADORES this school but his lazy butt still forgets his homework in his locker. At this rate, he may not even pass. I’m at a complete loss but be sure, he’s on lockdown while I figure it out. How to lift up a kid while making them buckle down? Brett is fine, growing like a weed and tearing into the pantry like a ravenous beast, but overall he is adjusting well.
My cat died. I’m still not okay. I loved him so very much. His ashes are ready at the vet, but I’m not ready to pick them up. The woman who called me for them said to take all the time I need and I’m grateful for it. The staff there have been so kind, everyone could learn a few lessons from these amazing, caring people.
I’m finally decorating this new house. I bought the Blik ovals (see post below) and they are mucho sexy in my bedroom. I can’t wait to uh, hang a picture or two on the walls. Lame, lazy ass over here.
As for the rest of my life? Private. I need that privacy right now even as I want to talk, talk, talk about it. I can’t. I don’t feel comfortable and I’m not sure when I will. It’s the juicy parts, to be sure, that I just can’t bring myself to ever discuss to publicly.
Because well, some things just aren’t public fodder.
Fascinating coming from a woman who just told you about my tender breasts, isn’t it?
Posted by Melissa on February 17th, 2007 under Histoire d'Art, Moving, Observations, Spawn
February 17th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Phew! Happy for the update, the classes sound good (except of course the 8a.m. one!)
It’s just good to know what’s been up with you. Really.
February 17th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Have been thinking of you MUCHO. And worrying… And thinking… And worrying… And thinking… Oh and sending good vibes ALWAYS.
February 17th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Glad to see you back!
February 18th, 2007 at 7:39 am
So glad to see you and know how you’re doing. You DON’T have to share everything, you know. Just let us know you’re alive from time to time, decorating, going to class and still functioning. What’s between you and Mike is between you and Mike.
As to the homework thing… I’ve been hearing about lots of similar stories - apparently it is not uncommon for boys of that age to do that. My cousin has nearly pulled all her hair out over this. Her son is smart and actually does all the work, but he doesn’t turn it in - which is threatening his passage to the next grade. Very frustrating. Just know you’re not alone.
Sounds like your therapist and your vet are jewels.
February 18th, 2007 at 9:03 am
I think holding 8 am classes is about the worst thing you can do in the education field, for both instructors and instructees. What about the 9-5 workday? It starts at 9 for a reason! BTW…I’m teaching now! I’ve got an evening Greek Art and Archaeology course with some fantastic folks…all working stiffs like me.
And I wish you and your kitty-guy much peace. Just think…he’s probably having a great time rubbing his face on inanimate objects and licking his own ass up in kitty heaven.
February 18th, 2007 at 9:04 am
p.s. Liking the subtle nipplage in the Leighton up top.
February 18th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Theresa, you know that nipslip is my favorite part about it.
YAY FOR TEACHING! I’m so excited for you! You MUST email me and tell me all about it. I love the people in my evening class, every damn semester I adore them.
Sayre, that is EXACTLY what Daniel is doing. He actually does the work and then magically fails to turn it in. He’s even failed to turn in stuff done in-class. What the hell?
February 18th, 2007 at 11:28 am
You are in a place of hard work right now, but I’m happy for you that you seem to have what you need to get it done. Just having a good therapist is no small thing.
And you are wise to realize that some stuff is really not for public dissection, even though that can be the very stuff that makes you feel the loneliest.
Big hugs, kiddo, and best wishes. Thanks for checking in.
February 18th, 2007 at 11:40 am
P. S. — Flaming June is one of my favorite pictures. I also love a Klimt painting called Danae, and even though the conceit for each is meant to be totally different, and the styles are undeniably distinct, I cannot help seeing one and thinking of the other. They are similar in their voluptuousness.
February 18th, 2007 at 11:44 am
(I don’t know why the “P.” in P. S. got chopped off above. Maybe it will happen again. Pardon me while I experiment.)
February 18th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Aw hon, it’s so good to hear you “sounding” happy and productive.
*hug*
February 19th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Welcome back! (((((HUGS)))) How I’ve missed you.
I’m glad to see that your “sounding” more like your old self.
Hey! I’m on Loestrin FE too! I think I hate it. My 1st cycle started a week early and I think this second one is going to be early also. If it does start before the pills run out, I’m going to have to call Dr. K and get back on my good old Ortho-Novum 135.
Flaming June is one of my all-time favorites. I keep looking at it on Posters.com and almost ordering it….
February 19th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Yay for updates! So glad you’re doing better, and good therapists rock the casbah.
Much love, sista! I’m glad to know you’re alive and kickin’ (can I reference any more 80s in one comment???) and that things are marching their way along.
Maybe your kitty is playing with my best buddy Bozo (mutt dog I adored) somewhere up there.
February 20th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
It’s funny how things work that way, in which we can talk about our tits and not other things. I understand. Chuckle. I’m looking forward to reading more. Welcome back.
February 21st, 2007 at 9:30 am
Cat, I hadn’t had any breakthough bleeding a helluva long time…until last night. Awesome.
February 21st, 2007 at 11:58 am
You’ve been on my mind and it sounds like things are going well. Except that 8am class. Ick. You know I heart art, but in college I had an 8am class and I chose to sleep my way through it. 8am should be outlawed- especially on the campus of any upstanding school.
Take good care, dear!
February 27th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I never even thought about the fact that my college professors might have been hating some of the boring, poorly designed courses I took in college as much as I did. Never thought of it! And my mother was an English professor for a while when I was growing up, too.
Shame on me. Shame.
I wish I could borrow your therapist. She sounds lovely. Alas, I am broke.