Archive for November, 2006
There’s No El Dorado In There
You guys are delicious, quite possibly tasting of chocolate and cream. Thank you for ignoring my COMMENTS CLOSED decision and emailing my sick ass anyway.
When I make posts such as the last one, they are really for me. This place was supposed to be my venting ground, my therapy. Sometimes, […]
The Root of All Evil
In one day, four people have suggested that my presence in their life has caused them to:
~ gain weight
~ not have holiday parties
~ lose friendships
~ act out in irrational ways
~ become bad role models for their children
~ chuck their belief in the goodness of people
~ lose productivity at work
~ ignore responsibility
~ say hurtful things out […]
Google Smackdown Monday
Dear reader who found my site whilst googling, “coitus interruptus gallery,”
Ewwwww.
A gallery. Are you serious?
Also? Ewwwww.
I can only imagine the delight you find in this spoogalicious scene and I wish you all the best of luck.
I, on the other hand, will refrain from adding to your brand of joy by removing any products […]
Only Read the Beginning
I hope you all are having a lovely Thanksgiving. I hope that friends and loved ones are spooning a healthy third serving of mashed potatoes onto your plates at this very moment!
***
I am home alone with a head cold while the husband has the children at their Thanksgiving extravaganza.
I am tired, sick, […]
Bad Mom Confession
Brett just asked me if I liked his friend, Jordan.
I said, “Sure, honey!”
But I don’t.
I do not like Jordan. That kid annoys the living hell out of me. He’s loud, obnoxious, has horrible manners, and he never stops screaming in a fake baby voice.
Yes, that’s right, I hate a […]
Girl-with-a-Snack Radar? Much love to you, Linka.
So much is happening over at Casa SH and The Marriage Woes but I am forbidden to speak of it, or at least, I am forbidding myself to speak of it even though I really want to write every last dripping morsel of my thoughts. But I won’t. Because I have some control…not […]
Posted by Melissa on November 17th, 2006 under Accomplices, Melancholia | 5 Comments »The High Performance Tampon
Isn’t THIS just a regular tampon?
How is it performing uh, higher, than normal? Does a regular tampon only work so-so but hey, they’ve really made this one absorb menstrual blood. Doesn’t it just do what it’s supposed to in the first place? Didn’t they tell us that we could run, […]
DotMoms Day!
My newest post, “A Big Steaming Bowl,” is up at DotMoms.
I wish I could tell all the parents of toddlers that Mr. Picky will change. That one day, there will be a miracle and he will stop refusing the family dinner. Except that this didn’t exactly happen for us. Daniel is 12 and still prefers […]
Posted by Melissa on November 10th, 2006 under Spawn | 5 Comments »Vote or Seriously Risk Invoking the Harpy of Doom
Hear me?
Vote!
Shit, Fan, Hitting
In sum, the marriage is over. Total shit hitting the fan, mud-slinging commencing.
It’s horrible.
Thank you for all your kind comments and some day, hopefully soon, I can send out batches of super chocolate chunk cookies to each of you. Thank you so much.
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