A Delicious Meme
I’ve never been tagged for a meme before and now, the lovely Sara has blown my meme virginity. Hooray! She tagged me with a fun meme, she wants to know Five Weird Things about me.
Oh honey, I’m a Pisces (Aquarian cusp). There are a hundred weird things about me. Note to self: Do a 100 Things list.
But for Sara, I will narrow the list to five. Now which five? It took a bit to figure which weird things I want to share with the blogging world, because dude, some things maybe should not get out there. At least, not on a family blog like this one.
Here goes, the Big Five Weird Things About Me That I’m Willing to Present To The Bloggy Public:
1) I have a few compulsions, a slight OCD one could say. I have to lock doors three or four times to really think they are locked. I have to set my alarm three or four times to believe it’s really set. I have a shower routine that cannot be messed with, ever.
What is this shower routine, you ask? Well, I like to shower in the morning. Okay, I would love to shower in the morning and at night, because night showers are soothing. But no, my skin won’t allow it and it feels wasteful. The routine: First there is the waiting for the shower to warm to the perfect temperature. The perfect shower temperature for me is hot enough to redden skin within seconds (and how my skin hates me for it). Second comes the wetting, shampooing and rinsing of the hair. Next, conditioning (I skip this if I’m using Lush’s Big shampoo, I don’t use conditioner with it). Then, soaping of the beautiful body and rinsing rinsing rinsing. I then do the shaving of the underarms, yes, every day and always with Aveeno shave cream. It makes life better. Lastly, I wash my face with Aveeno foaming face wash. It’s the only thing out there that doesn’t dry me out but has kept the tenacious Age 30 pimples away.
The only variation to the routine is when I shave my legs. Which I don’t do every day. Not because I don’t need to, I do (I have dark, course hair and lily white skin), but because my delicate baby skin angers when I do. If I shave my legs, then I either do it right after my entire shower or at night in a bath.
That was about two minutes of your life you will never get back.
2) Certain sounds gross me out. Big time. The worst is the sound of meat things being stirred or mixed. Ground meat being mixed with various other things, mixed by HAND, and being squished around is the most disgusting thing ever. The second worst sound is macaroni and cheese being stirred. You’ve probably made something yummy that sounds horrific to my ears. I will, however, eat things that make disgusting mixing sounds during preparation.
3) I sleep with my cat. I mean, I sleep with my precious, wecious beebee kitty up in my arms. He shares a pillow with me. I love it. I love every damn moment of his furry cuddling.
4) I am not an orthodox art history instructor sometimes. Today in class I used the phrase “suck it” in regards to Athens after the Peloponnesian Wars, architecture, and sculpture. Last week I said, “she really wanted to be mounted.” I just know you want to take my class.
5) I have certain deviancies. In the sack. No, I am NOT sharing them in detail. But, let’s say that a girl who is somewhat dominating in everyday life isn’t always so in the bedroom. I can’t explain it. There are physical responses to particular actions and although I would like to use psychology to understand it, it doesn’t seem to work out so neatly. I think I was born this way and it has sometimes infuriated me that I would bow to the patriarchy in such a fashion. But there it is. Now, somebody get over here and spank me.
Dear bitches, it’s time to tag five more of you. Oh yeah, who has the power now. I’m tagging Christine, Supa, Melanie, Lisa, and Stephanie.
Posted by Melissa on September 12th, 2006 under Accomplices
September 12th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Oh, now, look. There’s no damn way I can follow that.
(Although spanking might be fun… no, wait.)
Seriously, I did this one but am sorely tempted to try again… I think it was my first meme, too (I had ‘im first, woman), and I am pretty sure I did it wrong.
Yeah, I’ll do it.
This debate brought to you by Mel’s Dumbass Indecisiveness - would you like to buy some? Oh, maybe not. But maybe…
September 12th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
Hahahaha!! So you like it when he ties you up nude and stirs Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, don’t you? Admit it!!!!
September 12th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
I’m trying to think of some sassy comment. I can’t. I suck.
Were you talking about yourself in your class last week, with the mounting, and just disguised it with an anonymous “she”? Cuz, then I’d really want to take your class. I’m always looking for ways to broaden my horizons instead of my ass.
September 12th, 2006 at 2:22 pm
Melanie, yay!
And oh my god, that would be TERRIBLE if I was tied up listening to mac n’ cheese. I shudder thinking about that. Ick. Pooh.
I wasn’t talking about myself in the class with the mounting, but uh, if you’re offering!
September 12th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
There. Done. And much better than the last one, I might add… thanks for the chance to redo that bad boy! :)
September 12th, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Hooray Melanie!!
Oh my god, that’s hilarious. I love it. Thank you!
September 13th, 2006 at 10:56 am
Oh, you show-off! It took me a month-and-a-half to do this. Half of it was figuring out what exactly was meant by the word “weird.” Really. I do not have my finger on The Pulse.
Hey, I tagged Stephanie, too. Does this mean she has to list ten things?
As for the sound of gloopy things stirring, well, it’s a good thing you never pursued a career as a Foley artist, right?
I have slept with all my cats. The men I’ve slept with while I’ve had cats have happily slept with them, too. In fact, waking up in the morning with this last man (my true love) and all my cats (well, as many as were ever alive all at one time) and me all on the same piece of furniture — some under covers, some on top — has been the happiest thing about my entire existence.
There’s a great Japanese movie called After Life — profoundly moving, really — in which it is postulated that after death we get to pick one memory from our whole lives in which to live for all of eternity. Everyone who sees this movie thinks about his/her own life and wonders what s/he’d choose. I would choose this, that moment of waking with everyone I love on one piece of furniture, though I’d ask to edit it so that all five of my cats could be there (just the one man, though).
My true love is my true love because he’s down with this. He has never once suggested we should sleep without the kitties. It may not be the absolutely happiest thing about his life, but he loves me, and he has loved the kitties he’s known, too, and I actually think most of them have loved him better than me (which I’m actually okay with; he rescued all of us, except the one he never got to meet).
It goes deeper than he is aware. One morning I woke up to see him sleeping with our current kitty under one arm. I came closer to pet them both, and he said, “My kitty. Mine. You may pet his little head, and that is all!”
When I mentioned this later, he was shocked. Apparently, he was sound asleep at the time and does not remember this, but agrees that this makes it even funnier. Now we say that all the time. “You may pet his little head, and that is all!” heh heh heh
And of course we both go ahead and pet the whole kitty, whenever the kitty wants us to, no matter what.
September 13th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
OK, I’m totally cracking up at you being, um, passive in bed. HILARIOUS and so unexpected.
Sara- 10 things??? Holy weirdness. Yeah, 10 weird things might make me sound too creepy. I’ll stick with 5!
September 13th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
That was so funny. Ok that shower thing and the door and alarm thing? Yup. Me too. And my guess is that your honey kinda likes you all bowing before him when it comes to the bedtime stuff. heehee.
And wow. How cool would it be to sleep with a cat that loved to snuggle! That would be so awesome!
September 14th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
[…] Secondly? Their slogan? Ohmygarters. “Makes you feel good.” I have a lot of things that make me feel good and yes, music is one of them and yes, I see where you’re going with it, but uh, my mind is wayyyy too dirty to let that go. If movin makes me feel good, fine, bring it on. That’s what car dancing is for, no? I think that super hot waiter at Chevy’s the other night would make me feel good too, but I’m not going to go and ruin him by omitting any letters of his name. […]
September 14th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Sara, I love that story with the kitty! Too funny.
Stephanie’s 5 things are up! Go check them out. You are hilarious!
September 16th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
Hilarious! I must confess, I am not adverse to a little hanky spanky.