A Day in Which I Did Not Stalk nor Worry About Terrorism at the College, Unlike Some People

Things to note:

I did NOT stalk Daniel today.  I know, so weird.  However, I did spot another mama stalking her kid from a car after she let him out to the bus stop.  But this was not me, and we can all rejoice.

Also, I went to a faculty meeting last night at the community college where I teach and not only is our new Art building a horrendous disaster (as in, we can’t have classes in it even though school start Monday; seriously, I have no desks or projectors), but an asshat in the meeting asks this question:

“What if there is a terrorist attack?  I mean, what do we do?! Do we run to the basements or go to a grassy area outside.  Should we hide in the bathrooms?”

I doodled the word, “tool,” on the back of a payroll form.  Fucking tool.

Posted by Melissa on August 18th, 2006 under Observations, Spawn



9 Responses to “A Day in Which I Did Not Stalk nor Worry About Terrorism at the College, Unlike Some People”

  1. Stephanie A. Says:

    Meetings suck major ass just for this reason. It drives me bonkers when someone asks some hypothetical question just to ask it. Lemme guess what happened- it spawned a whole line of questions from others and ended up in some big discussion that took away minutes, if not hours, of your life that you’ll never get back. Am I right? Am I right?

    At work I’ve started to schedule times with clients on the phone for 5 minutes before our departmental meeting because we have our own asshat who asks too many hypothetical questions. Except our asshat is creepy.

  2. Oh, The Joys Says:

    I think we should challenge your readers to come up with creative responses that we could present to this guy with straight faces.

    Thinking on it…

  3. Sayre Says:

    How about “Duck and Cover”? The braintrust in charge of the cold war seemed to thing this was an appropriate way to deal with a nuclear bomb…

  4. Theresa Says:

    Should have told the guy that you all should run outside to a grassy area, but first everyone must ensure that all slide projectors, slides, and art faculty are safe because we have a duty to “protect our cultural heritage in the face of terrorism.”

    Staff from several of the Wash U libraries got their panties in a bunch over the title of a instructional section we have to sign up for regarding the new charging for printing policy. It was called “Grace Under Fire.” People read the title and thought we were having terrorist attack training.

  5. Melissa Says:

    Stephanie, YES! Whole spaces of time I can’t get back!

    Jessica, oh please go for it. I would love to hear your responses for this guy. And Sayre, most excellent. I should have stood up and started singing that song.

    Theresa, this is why you are the bomb. Yes, that’s exactly what I should have said. I could have brought in Foucault and then Gardner to spice it up.

    Question: I do get free copies when I come in there right? Right? I mean, you know the copy code for our machines. It’s really only fair.

  6. Theresa Says:

    Oh Melissa, I will hook you UP!

  7. Sara Says:

    If I were a terrorist, I would absolutely choose a community college in St. Louis as my next target.

    People are out of control with the fear shit. Seriously.

    Here’s a little meeting joy:

    Meetings, by Despair, Inc.

  8. Suzanne Says:

    The Bush machine is so successful, I don’t know what to do.

  9. Melissa Says:

    Theresa, oh yeaahhhh!

    Sarah, ha!

    Suzanne, amen. It’s insane to me.

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