Archive for August, 2006
Love Thursday
Karen at Chookooloonks is doing something fabulous, as usual. Today is her Love Thursday and I want to share this with you:
This is (yes) another picture from my sister’s wedding. Late in the reception, Brett’s patience and stamina blow out and he retreats. Because he MUST retreat now or break down. […]
Posted by Melissa on August 31st, 2006 under Married Once, Twice, Whatever, Spawn | 13 Comments »The Lush’s Lushie Niece
The Sunday morning after the wedding, I was able to see my sister before they boarded a party plane to Las Vegas. She brought news.
Lindy, and my god now all of us, think her 10 year old daughter got into the champagne during the reception. At the head table, the children were given […]
The Recap
Soon, ladies and gentlemen, there will be more pictures of my darling sister’s wedding. She had a beautiful ceremony and one of the best receptions ever. She was gorgeous. Gorgeous. My sister was much more beautiful than your sister.
Clearly, your trusty heroine got drunk.
As a skunk.
In a vat of beer.
Before:
During:
After:
Oh wait. […]
My Sister is Married
And I am drunk.
Oh yes, make no mistake motherfuckers, I am drunk and had a great time. All spelling, grammar, and spacing errors are sacred and not to be fucked with today.
All I know is, my sister is gorgeous and happy, my friends are the best people on earth, and DUDE I totally love you […]
It Has Begun
Once upon a time, I thought my dear husband would freeze and refuse to emit forth the life-giving elixir. Once upon a time, I thought he would either refrain alltogether or at the last moment jump away in fear, only to dump the stuff on my thigh.
Once upon a time, I was apparently wrong. It’s […]
Post-Its?
My new DotMoms post is up today and in it I bitch about our school supply list of the year. Check it out.
Is it just me? Am I the only one annoyed at the odd school supplies bought and not used correctly? I think I would feel better if I thought they had a […]
The Open Letter
Dear intern who hogged the one good computer all damned day, the computer shared by the eleventy billion research assistants and other interns, even though you were only checking the library’s online card catalogue, a task that can be accomplished on any one of the FOUR community computers nearby, forcing me to stare at the […]
Posted by Melissa on August 22nd, 2006 under Histoire d'Art | 10 Comments »Google Smackdown Monday
Dear reader who found my site whilst googling, “elmo giving ’sesame street’ a bad image,”
Uh, shyeahhh.
I can’t vouch for what you were worried about, but that Elmo and his crackwhoriness is a big downer. I mean, teaching babies to prostitute for crack is just wrong.
Babies need to learn how to have a business plan, keep […]
Sick, Depraved, A Bad Influence on the Other Muppets Bloggers
Which Sesame Street Muppet’s Dark Secret Are You?
Elmo’s Past as a Transvestite CrackwhoreYou’re sick, you’re annoying, and you’re a bad influence on the other muppets. Go away! And stop trying to be the new Grover.
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Dear god.
Posted by Melissa on August 19th, 2006 under Observations | 11 Comments »A Day in Which I Did Not Stalk nor Worry About Terrorism at the College, Unlike Some People
Things to note:
I did NOT stalk Daniel today. I know, so weird. However, I did spot another mama stalking her kid from a car after she let him out to the bus stop. But this was not me, and we can all rejoice.
Also, I went to a faculty meeting last night at the community college […]
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