Further Proof of our Differences
We shop at Sam’s. Yes, the super warehouse giantico. Because lo, the toilet paper is cheap and the yogurt is plentiful and the Naked orange juice comes in a gallon jug.
Typically, we buy the Mondo Tampax Box. 100 count.
It took me years to get to the point where I could buy tampons in bulk. I don’t mind buying, carrying, using, or discussing tampons at length. But carrying a box of tampons the full length of my head and torso gives me the willies. Like HELLO! I BLEED! (Which at this point, I’m still totally fine.) (Here is where I lose my shit:) I BLEED A LOT! DUDE, LIKE SO FUCKING MUCH! I’m totally going to use this all in ONE month! I’ll be back in a few weeks! HIGH FIVE!
But now, I’m okay. Mostly. But for a while I’ve been able to purchase the monster box of Tampax at Sam’s. Today we went to Sam’s. I need tampons. But we didn’t buy the ginormous package.
Mike: Do you need tampons.
Me: Yep.
Mike: Okay, we’ll grab some while we’re here.
Me: You know, maybe not. Maybe let’s just get a regular sized box and press our luck.
Mike: * silence *
Goddamn stoic.
—
Renaissance Rivals on Penelope Room today.
July 28th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
(snicker)
stick a couple up your nose and complain of a nose bleed.
that should do it. (snicker)
July 29th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
Heeheee. This was even funnier now that I’ve met you. Because now I can visualize the expression on your face when the exchange took place.
July 29th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Ha, with my flailing hand gestures and screwy faces!
July 30th, 2006 at 9:08 am
Oh honey, just tell them you’re a feminist artist and that you’re trying to re-create the Menstruation Bathroom from Womanhouse. Then you can buy like 5 economy boxes of Tampax and everyone will ooh and ahh over your critical examination of this patriarchal society’s view of the feminine mystique.
Or you can say you were born with two uteruses. Uteri?
July 30th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Theresa, hahahahaha!!