Double Posting Picture Essay Hot Dog Party*
I would like to present you with reason number 454,983 why I want to have another child with my husband. He is most fabulous with children.
Exhibit A:
He not only loves to take the kids to his family’s farm, he helped them dig random garden holes. Big holes in the ground for no apparent reason. They dug six deep holes and then filled them with water, connecting some with canals and one with a found pipe. He worked with them, digging and filling and refilling, for weeks. Then his dad and brothers joined in and it’s been a family project ever since. Then, he suggested that the boys could actually get IN the holes. They shuddered with joy.
Exhibit A1, A2, and A3:
Exhibit B:
Mike loves kids of all ages. Here, Mike is dragging his nephew down the Slip N Slide while Brett prepares to hurdle down the slide again. Lake sort of liked it. But wait, where am I in all of this? I’m sitting in a chair holding a drink, sweating and cursing.
You see why I would want to procreate blindly with such a good father? You see? Of course you do.
In the next section of Double Posting Picture Essay Hot Dog Party, we have a vote. I need help picking from the four best of the horrible shots of me for DotMoms. No one takes pictures of me so when they needed one, I had nothing. Nada. Zip. So, in searching for a damn picture, this is what I found. Help?
Number 1 (sweating and cursing as Mike plays with the kids):
This is Tits McGee at your service. I cropped it to this, a more family-friendly up my nose shot I’m calling “epic.”
Number 2:
How about nerdy? With glasses? And fuzzy?
Number 3:
This one? Which is out of focus and yet I look way thinner than I am?
Lastly, Number 4:
I look serious. Seriously in the bathroom. And it’s not even our remodeled bathroom.
Any preferences? I should start doing some decent self-portraits.
–
*Lindy will know the Hot Dog Party reference. It was a real thing. Actually, it was a Hot Dog RAIN Party. There was a cake. Not a tiny cake. A store-bought cake with the words, “Hot Dog Rain Party,” written in icing. This, this was not okay or planned or desired. There was also chicken. And a barn.
July 12th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
“This is Tits McGee at your service.”
*snort*
July 13th, 2006 at 3:34 am
I believe, and I may be wrong, that my sister started calling a few of us rather ahem, endowed, ladies that.
July 13th, 2006 at 8:14 am
Yeah, um, I’ll have to say that none of those will work. Not because you’re not photogenic (because, doll, I’m a photographer, or at least I was once, and I can see that you ARE photogenic, indeed), but because they’re all out of focus (well, except for the epic cheesecake one)! Autofocus bad.
Hey, if Lisa and Andrea and I ever actually get our own little St. Louis BlogHer together, you should totally come, and then I will take your picture.
July 13th, 2006 at 10:41 am
The cropped up-the-nose shot makes you look like a statue of Roma or Athena with a woman-who-means-business profile.
I think you should call the first shot “Boobzilla”
July 13th, 2006 at 11:41 am
I adore 1. You may have been sweating and cursing, but the photo says “Today’s Strong Woman” or “Brave New Mom” or something like that.
Very Soviet worker propaganda. Archetypal. Potentially allegorical, even. Gotta say I dig it.
July 13th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
and see, here i come being all superficial, like “use the one that makes you look the thinnest! isn’t that like, some kind of law? of course! always, all the time, use that one!!”
i’m so lame.
in my defense, though, it is a actually good picture of you, too. so i vote for either the skinny one or soviet mom.
July 13th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Jaelithe, you’re on! Yes, I realize they are ALL horrible in some way. Although, I’ve never thought I was photogenic and it’s lovely to have someone say that.
Kate, yeah, even in all my feminist not-caring about weight thing, I always want the skinny one.
So far, the epic cheescake is my favorite because it’s uh, clear! Brave New Boobzilla Mom!
July 13th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
I go with #1 (cropped) too. It’s actually kinda cool-looking, I think. :)
July 13th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
I’m just gonna stand and declare that Tits McGee must live on.
July 13th, 2006 at 4:41 pm
#1 cropped, for sure. I’m like you, very few pictures of my self now. I’m always the one behind the camera since it’s a hobby.
And yeah, procreate, procreate, procreate! Mike was meant to have kids, and obviously, the more the better!
July 13th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
You are so pretty. We (Stephanie and I) will recognize you when we finally get together! Hey, about about July 29 for lunch? Let me know.
July 13th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Can I answer here? YES! I’m in. Most fabulous.
July 14th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
I like number 1 too! Boobs and all! Number 2 is too out of focus. Number 3 is nice but what about your other son? And 4 is just too angry!
What is it with boys and mud? Of course the slip n’ slide looks awesome….
July 17th, 2006 at 12:01 am
I like the one with the glasses. Good smile, and glasses do tend to lend the air of gentileness.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:02 pm
[...] In related news, I give you Exhibit 3: [...]
July 19th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
Tits McGee is ON tonight! my vote is for #1. plain old up-the-nose shots are so last year.
August 15th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
[...] Also, the Tits McGee shot (cropped) was used for my DotMoms photo. [...]
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