In lieu of Google Smackdown Monday today, I have another damn question.
Did you know it is illegal to be a midwife in Missouri? What the hell?
I can’t even have a midwife when/if I get pregant again? Where are the birthing centers? I can’t find ONE! Where would I find a water birth or a place more likely to allow me to do what I need to give birth naturally? Is it all medical all the time?
get yerself some o’ that hot monkey love, put a bun in the oven, and come on up to canada. not only are midwives legal, sanctioned, supported (though not as much as they should be) and offered (in most places) as a viable alternative to an ob, they are covered by our national medicare. my very own bumblebee was caught by one of the best, at home, who also took the greatest care possible of this mama as well.
plus, we hosers can always do with more sassy mamas, such as yourself.
Is a doula like a midwife? My sis has used one and my neighbor used to be one. When did they outlaw it. And I think there’s at least one hospital in this area that has the tubs so that you can labor in the tub. Or so I thought….
Dude! Are you fucking serious? What kind of whackjob put that law on the books?
Well, tell you what. You’re welcome to come kick it at my tiny little apartment in Orygun and have your baby with a midwife, a doula, and as many shaman as we can squeeze in there with you.
Stupid Missouri.
Thank you guys for making me feel that MY initial reaction of “Are you fucking serious!!” is normal.
I’m too scared of a homebirth, apparently my only other option, and my first two medical births (a) permanently damaged my spine, mildy but enough to still hurt, and (b) were done strapped down to a monitor with no walking, moving, drinking or eating allowed. I don’t want this but I KNOW I can’t go unmedicated if all I’m allowed to do is lie prone in a bed with no sustenence and no way to ease the horrendous pain.
That’s it. I’m having one in Canada and one in Oregon. I think Sara would flip if I showed up heifer-size and panting on her front door, saying, “Okay Sara, it’s time.”
Lisa, sorry my spam filter suddenly thought you were spam! You are NOT spam!
A doula is different than a midwife in that a doula is only there for support, she does not deliver the baby or perform any medical task regarding childbirth. She is your advocate, basically, so when your in the throes of pain you have someone clearheaded (i.e. not your crazy family) to make sure you get what you want.
A midwife is used instead of, or sometimes with, a regular OB. She can do it all. Well, not in Missouri.
I would not flip, dear. You are welcome here anytime. Just don’t expect the cat to get out of the way of your delivery. In fact, he will probably want to sit on you the whole time.
I would, however, sooner send you to visit my dear friend in California, the vegetarian, kosher, all-natural, SuperMom Aura Carmi. Not only is she an attachmentparent and a member of La Leche who will understand your priorities, but she has an awesome midwife who has helped her give birth twice, once in a hospital and once in her bathtub (’cause that’s just how it worked out), all without drugs, and both her kids are brilliant and beautiful and have been from their very first minute. (This is scientific fact, of course, certainly not friendly prejudice; I would never allow love to cloud science, never! heh)
I’m sort of like that character in Gone With the Wind. I’ve never even seen kittens or puppies born, except on film (e.g., the excellent movie Milo and Otis).
Back to the subject at hand, though, this is absolute bullshit. When I read this, I kept hearing in a kind of Dalek-ish voice, “MUST CONTROL ALL WOMBS. MUST CONTROL ALL WOMBS. CONTROL. CONTROL. MUST CONTROL.”
I was doing some scrounging around and saw that Missouri allows CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives), just not the Direct Entry sort. And apparently, Barnes-Jewish offers “a free doula service, to help you through the labor experience. Also, there are two nurse widwives to supply an alternative to a doctor for the delivery of your baby.” Does this help?
You are more than welcome to come and give birth in Philly too. All my friends gave birth with midwives, not Dr.’s, and were all very grateful.
You know who passed that law though, right? A SINGLE MAN.
I hear you on the strapped down part. The nurses (my doctor actually wanted me to move around, but couldn’t be there the whole time so the nurses won) made me stay strapped down to a machine for 26 hours during a failed induction (zippo in the contractions dept). I eventually unstrapped myself and went home because they wouldn’t even let me shower. Fuck that noise.
I have a work friend who (20+ years ago) gave birth via an underground midwife in MO.
Nikki, I totally did that with my first son. I walked in waving the epidural permission slip, asking for it RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW. But, some part of my spine was injured in the process, making what I call a weak, painful spot right where the epidural went in. It still hurts and I’m scared of really messing myself up if I do that again. Of course, I had an epidural with #2, which just made my back even worse, but childbirth is horrifyingly painful.
Yes, the strapped down thing. Grrrr. My doctor was the same, he encouraged the walking and moving, loved the walking and moving, but he didn’t stay there the whole time. The nurses won hands down. I can’t believe they wouldn’t let you shower, with no contractions. What the hell?
Underground midwives? See Missouri, see what your assholery will do!
SH - FYI, I think there might be something wrong with your site feed. I subscribe with bloglines and the only feeds available give me a message from Feedburner that say - dear SH - this is the feed we use to communicate with you, etc…. Anyway. Thought you’d want to know.
Also - home birth illegal here…not for me anyway, but WTF?
Move to Maine. We have more midwives per square mile then most states have rednecks and a wonderful birthing center in Portland. I had my 4th there and it was wonderful.
My baby sister is due in Aug. She is going to have her baby in her kitchen in a birthing tub. Attended by 2 midwives and a labor doula. Go sis!
June 26th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
That’s fucking insane. That’s also a law demanding some civil disobedience. Big time.
June 27th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
get yerself some o’ that hot monkey love, put a bun in the oven, and come on up to canada. not only are midwives legal, sanctioned, supported (though not as much as they should be) and offered (in most places) as a viable alternative to an ob, they are covered by our national medicare. my very own bumblebee was caught by one of the best, at home, who also took the greatest care possible of this mama as well.
plus, we hosers can always do with more sassy mamas, such as yourself.
June 27th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Is a doula like a midwife? My sis has used one and my neighbor used to be one. When did they outlaw it. And I think there’s at least one hospital in this area that has the tubs so that you can labor in the tub. Or so I thought….
June 28th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Dude! Are you fucking serious? What kind of whackjob put that law on the books?
Well, tell you what. You’re welcome to come kick it at my tiny little apartment in Orygun and have your baby with a midwife, a doula, and as many shaman as we can squeeze in there with you.
Stupid Missouri.
June 28th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Thank you guys for making me feel that MY initial reaction of “Are you fucking serious!!” is normal.
I’m too scared of a homebirth, apparently my only other option, and my first two medical births (a) permanently damaged my spine, mildy but enough to still hurt, and (b) were done strapped down to a monitor with no walking, moving, drinking or eating allowed. I don’t want this but I KNOW I can’t go unmedicated if all I’m allowed to do is lie prone in a bed with no sustenence and no way to ease the horrendous pain.
That’s it. I’m having one in Canada and one in Oregon. I think Sara would flip if I showed up heifer-size and panting on her front door, saying, “Okay Sara, it’s time.”
June 28th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Lisa, sorry my spam filter suddenly thought you were spam! You are NOT spam!
A doula is different than a midwife in that a doula is only there for support, she does not deliver the baby or perform any medical task regarding childbirth. She is your advocate, basically, so when your in the throes of pain you have someone clearheaded (i.e. not your crazy family) to make sure you get what you want.
A midwife is used instead of, or sometimes with, a regular OB. She can do it all. Well, not in Missouri.
June 28th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
I would not flip, dear. You are welcome here anytime. Just don’t expect the cat to get out of the way of your delivery. In fact, he will probably want to sit on you the whole time.
I would, however, sooner send you to visit my dear friend in California, the vegetarian, kosher, all-natural, SuperMom Aura Carmi. Not only is she an attachment parent and a member of La Leche who will understand your priorities, but she has an awesome midwife who has helped her give birth twice, once in a hospital and once in her bathtub (’cause that’s just how it worked out), all without drugs, and both her kids are brilliant and beautiful and have been from their very first minute. (This is scientific fact, of course, certainly not friendly prejudice; I would never allow love to cloud science, never! heh)
I’m sort of like that character in Gone With the Wind. I’ve never even seen kittens or puppies born, except on film (e.g., the excellent movie Milo and Otis).
Back to the subject at hand, though, this is absolute bullshit. When I read this, I kept hearing in a kind of Dalek-ish voice, “MUST CONTROL ALL WOMBS. MUST CONTROL ALL WOMBS. CONTROL. CONTROL. MUST CONTROL.”
June 28th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
I was doing some scrounging around and saw that Missouri allows CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives), just not the Direct Entry sort. And apparently, Barnes-Jewish offers “a free doula service, to help you through the labor experience. Also, there are two nurse widwives to supply an alternative to a doctor for the delivery of your baby.” Does this help?
June 28th, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Theresa, YES. This helps a lot! Because I hate being reminded how backward this state can be sometimes! Thank you.
June 28th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
Come to Canada. Seriously. We have beer and beavers and mullets and folk give birth on their front lawns in my neighbourhood.
For real.
June 29th, 2006 at 11:31 am
You are more than welcome to come and give birth in Philly too. All my friends gave birth with midwives, not Dr.’s, and were all very grateful.
You know who passed that law though, right? A SINGLE MAN.
June 29th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
E, Exactly!!
I must see these beers and laboring women in the front lawns. Because, wow.
June 30th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
Hon, you go ahead with your bad self. I am a wuss.
When I walked into the hospital to have my daughter, I walked up to the front desk and said
“I’m Nikki, my contractions are 5 minutes apart. Where’s the anathesiologist?” LOL
June 30th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
I hear you on the strapped down part. The nurses (my doctor actually wanted me to move around, but couldn’t be there the whole time so the nurses won) made me stay strapped down to a machine for 26 hours during a failed induction (zippo in the contractions dept). I eventually unstrapped myself and went home because they wouldn’t even let me shower. Fuck that noise.
I have a work friend who (20+ years ago) gave birth via an underground midwife in MO.
June 30th, 2006 at 11:44 pm
Nikki, I totally did that with my first son. I walked in waving the epidural permission slip, asking for it RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW. But, some part of my spine was injured in the process, making what I call a weak, painful spot right where the epidural went in. It still hurts and I’m scared of really messing myself up if I do that again. Of course, I had an epidural with #2, which just made my back even worse, but childbirth is horrifyingly painful.
Yes, the strapped down thing. Grrrr. My doctor was the same, he encouraged the walking and moving, loved the walking and moving, but he didn’t stay there the whole time. The nurses won hands down. I can’t believe they wouldn’t let you shower, with no contractions. What the hell?
Underground midwives? See Missouri, see what your assholery will do!
July 2nd, 2006 at 8:21 am
SH - FYI, I think there might be something wrong with your site feed. I subscribe with bloglines and the only feeds available give me a message from Feedburner that say - dear SH - this is the feed we use to communicate with you, etc…. Anyway. Thought you’d want to know.
Also - home birth illegal here…not for me anyway, but WTF?
July 2nd, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Huh, I’ll have to figure out what’s up with Bloglines. Thanks for the tip!
Homebirthing illegal? What if you just don’t make it to the hospital? Fascinating.
July 3rd, 2006 at 9:53 am
It’s a whole new category of law enforcement: birth criminals! Birth crimes! Crimes of inception!
Gah!
July 3rd, 2006 at 7:03 pm
“Not making it to the hospital” is how the home birthers do it here! Oh, yes.
July 4th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
Better late then never. (my comment)
Move to Maine. We have more midwives per square mile then most states have rednecks and a wonderful birthing center in Portland. I had my 4th there and it was wonderful.
My baby sister is due in Aug. She is going to have her baby in her kitchen in a birthing tub. Attended by 2 midwives and a labor doula. Go sis!
July 4th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Hello onetallmomma!
Maine sounds good, too! Damn all you people in progessive areas. We have the rednecks, but no one allowed to birth no babies.