Monday Google Smackdown, errr, just a Smackdown
Dear reader who found my site googling, “Bl…
Wait a moment. Why do I watch television? What is this RepHresh stuff?
Question: Ladies, does your vagina smell like swampwater/sludge/drainpipe?
OF COURSE NOT.
Your vagina is fine.
Fine.
I haven’t been there myself but I’m telling you it’s fine. It smells fine.
If it doesn’t smell just fine then you either need a shower or you need to call the doctor. Period.
And that shower? Gentle washing is all you need.
Don’t douche, don’t cream it up, don’t RepHresh, don’t believe the patriarchal hype that your genitalia smells like the bottom of a garbage can and men’s genitalia smells like a bouquet of rose-scented balls. Please, everyone’s shit smells rank after a jog on a hot day.
If you don’t think it’s a patriarchy thing, then scan the drugstore aisles for ballsac cleansers, taint gels, or penis douches.
Uh, love,
Melissa
May 29th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
Yes. Exactly.
For crap like this, VHS and TiVO were invented, especially the FF buttons on each. Those are some sexy, sexy buttons.
May 29th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
I need TiVO, it would seem. Me likes sexy.
May 29th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
UGGGH,
I hate that shit! Like, shame on you women and your vaginal smell. I swear I have yet to be able to smell some woman’s “rank” vagina. Its supposed to have a natural smell to it. Geez. It is not even good for your little taco to be odor free with the aid of artificial products.
I agree with the ball comment.
May 30th, 2006 at 7:37 am
Yes, I am a big proponent of the penis douche. And my take on the “vaginal odor”? If you can’t take it, you ain’t gettin’ any. I say we stage a whole Lysistrata campaign against the marketers of these products.
On another note…was watching Dr. 90210 yesterday (stop laughing at me) and some adult film star/plastic surgery addict (her lips put Angelina Jolie to shame) was having anal bleaching done so she could be “perfect” for her next film.
WHAT?!?!?!
May 30th, 2006 at 10:12 am
This might be my favorite smackdown ever. I mean, seriously, as a woman I have so much to worry about already. Who wants to add the stress of making sure that my vagina smells like a flower 24/7?
May 30th, 2006 at 10:26 am
Oh GAG ME, is that for real!!??
Just shoot me now.
May 30th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
amen, sister. that is all.
May 30th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
I haven’t thought about the pH of anything since Chemistry lab. Certainly not my va-jay-jay.
May 30th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Eeek. Wow. There are women out there THINKING about how they smell down there? Why? I’m with you, if you practice basic hygiene that’s one less thing you have to think about.
But this post made me laugh…
May 30th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
heeheehee…. taint gel.
May 30th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Mothergoosemouse! Another Grey’s Anatomy fan!
May 30th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
so smelling like swampwater is a BAD thing, right?
May 30th, 2006 at 11:21 pm
I just keep looking at the box, going Rep Resh?
And by box, I mean, well, shut up.
Rep Resh! Ruh roh!
May 31st, 2006 at 12:42 am
Oh man, I would SO buy ball freshener! This post rocks.
May 31st, 2006 at 8:09 am
Why the hell isn’t there a ballsac cleanser?
May 31st, 2006 at 10:20 am
I, too, love the way they capitalize the H. Rep Hresh is what I see.
Jen, smelling like swampwater may just be the newest thing.
I agree, why isn’t there a ballsac cleanser. What would you call it? HeBreeze maybe?
May 31st, 2006 at 6:01 pm
My first thought: Rep Hresh - is that some conservative congressman pushing his misogynistic agenda? (Answer: kind of.)
May 31st, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Vaguely Urban, it would definitely seem that way.
June 8th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Bastards. It’s the same reason that your health insurance will cover Viagra and not birth control pills.
June 12th, 2006 at 1:36 am
[…] Inspired by your comments HERE. […]
June 12th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Sarah, EXACTLY! I hate that.
July 12th, 2006 at 1:31 am
[…] Why does the leftover food have that “loathsome stench”? Because the Harpies are defecating on the leftovers. By now they have become birds with razor-sharp claws and beaks with the heads of women and a foul stench (always with the stench). The Harpies are set to the task, by Zeus, to punish Phineus. Each time food is magically laid out for him, the flock of Harpies swoop in, snatch some of it, scatters some other bits of food, and then shits on the rest, leaving Phineus hungry and growing thinner. “The Harpyiae ever watch my food; never, alas! can I elude them; straightway they all swoop down like the black cloud of a whirling hurricane, already by the sound of her wings I know Celaeno from afar; they ravage and sweep away my banquet, and befoul and upset the cups, there is a violent stench and a sorry battle arises, for the monsters are as famished as I. What all have scorned or polluted with their touch, or what has fallen from their filthy claws, causes me to linger thus among the living. Nor may I break fate’s bond by death: by nourishment is my cruel need prolonged.” - Valerius Flaccus, Argonautica 4.425 […]
September 12th, 2006 at 11:58 am
[…] But for Sara, I will narrow the list to five. Now which five? It took a bit to figure which weird things I want to share with the blogging world, because dude, some things maybe should not get out there. At least, not on a family blog like this one. […]