How to Fuck Your Family Over in One Easy Step
Get a series of nice research/teaching jobs that help feed your family throughout the year, all of which fail to take any federal or state taxes out of your checks.
Voilà .
For extra effect, make sure you make just a hair above the maximum for Earned Income Credit…be poor, but not too poor.
For extra, extra effect, get divorced at 20 and give your ex one of the kids to claim.
To fuck yourself royally in all ways possible, get good grades in order to receive scholarships and tuition waivers, many of which come as a stipend and also did not have any taxes taken out along the way.
Posted by Melissa on April 8th, 2006 under Melancholia3 Responses to “How to Fuck Your Family Over in One Easy Step”
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April 9th, 2006 at 7:04 pm
Oh crap. Don’t you wonder why things like this end up being OUR faults and not the INSTITUTION’S fault? Wash U did the same thing to me when I was working for the gallery. I had direct deposit, so of course I didn’t really look at the biweekly receipts I got. Surprise! And that was the year I had five W-2 forms from THREE different states…two had state income tax, one did not. I still get cross-eyed thinking about it.
April 9th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
This happened to me in my first job out of college. THey didn’t take out the taxes but they took out other stuff. (They screwed up my paperwork.) I saw the big ole’ line of other deductions and assumed they took out taxes (didn’t even THINK it was an option.) Nope. And I got a nasty surprise in April that following year. By that time, I was living on my own in the Central West End. I had to take a loan out at a bank I formerly worked at just to pay the damn Federal bill. The state bill exhausted what little savings I had at the time. So yes, I completely feel your pain. OUCH!
April 9th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Oh god, thank you for your kindred stories. It helps so much.