He Likes Tampax Regulars
My eleven-year-old son a notorious nose bleeder. If the air is dryish, his nose bleeds. If his spectacular nose membranes touch chlorine, he bleeds. The poor kid has actually passed out once from a nose bleed. Talk about making mommy drink…
Last summer, friend Christine and I took our kids to the community pool. As expected, Daniel’s nose becomes a blood faucet and try as we might, we can’t stop it. The lifeguards notice and hustle us into their little urgent care office to staunch the flow. It stops. It starts. It stops. We get near the water. It starts again.
Yummy, isn’t it? There’s more.
Finally, the lifeguard pulls out a tampon-looking item and stuffs it up Daniel’s nose. Works like a charm. I kick myself for not thinking of this before and we go on to enjoy our way.
Here and there he’s had his regular nosebleeds but they’ve stopped fairly easily.
Fast forward to yesterday.
Daniel, hey surprise(!), gets a nosebleed. But this one is bad. We’re going through wads of tissue and toilet paper like mad and it won’t stop. Daniel looks at me and says, “Mom, go get a tampon. Get it out of the cardboard thing. Hurry!”
Here, I thank God and Allah and anyone listening that we’ve had numerous talks about bodies. We talk about male and female bodies both. Simply because I don’t want his body to be a big mystery to him as he grows and I don’t want women’s bodies to be a mystery to him, either. My boy knows, and has known all his life, what a tampon is, why it’s used, and how it works. It’s a girlie item, sure, but it’s as common to him as my antiperspirant. Both my kids learned around age two that if you hit the applicator hard enough it shoots the tampon across the other room. Good times, good times.
He’s obviously not worried about the thought of a tampon up his schnozz.
I run, grap a tampon, unwrap it, and pop it out of the applicator. Then, I cut it in half lengthwise and run to Daniel. A quick shove of one half up his nose and we’re good. We’re so good that he asks for water to wash out the blood that dripped into his mouth.
“Sure thing, honey!” I get the water.
He takes it and goes to drink, plunging the end of the tampon in the water. It balloons.
We laugh. Then, we start laughing hysterically. One end of the tampon is soaked with blood, the other is soaked with water. All sticking out of Daniel’s nose.
He looks at me, giggles, and says, “I guess we need the other half of that tampon.”
Posted by Melissa on January 24th, 2006 under Spawn
January 24th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Ahhh, bless Moms like you who raise kids like Daniel! Thanks for the laugh,
… no picture? ;)
January 25th, 2006 at 4:09 am
That is an excellent story! A picture would have been priceless.
January 25th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Great story! I’m glad you’re raising a young man who won’t “spaz out” when his future girlfriend or wife needs him to get her some Tampons someday. He’ll be a great hubby and dad! Sounds like a very sweet and happy kid.
January 27th, 2006 at 7:15 am
My stepson has the same problem. Try some over-the-counter saline nasal spray. It works really well. We also got an humidifier attached to our furnace, and that also had some benefits for all of us. Our skin isn’t as dry in the winter.
January 27th, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Guys, I wish, WISH, I had taken a picture!
Daniel is definitely going to be a great dad and partner, he’s just such a great guy anyway and the whole not freaking out about girlie products is only a bonus.
Ooohh, thanks Viscount. We do put a humidifier in his room at night and that helps a lot, but to have one on the furnace would be fabulous. Also, I’m glad to hear the the nasal spray could help instead of aggravate.
January 28th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
I used to get intense nosebleeds as a kid, as well as dizzy spells. Kid? Into my 20s. Try vitamin C with rutin & bioflavinoids. The rutin & bioflavinoids help blood vessel strength. “Ester C” has it. Daniel has to be able to swallow pills but I had great success with it.
January 28th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Darn! I really like that kid! Way cool…and great mommying to have a kid so un-self-conscious about tampons up his nose!
January 30th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
My 11-year-old daughter has suffered from nosebleeds her whole life that are quite as horrific as the ones you describe. I had always said if a forensics team came to my houe I would be arrested for suspicious blood spatter and arrest me for the murder of a non existent body. My daughter’s doctor recently tested her for von Willebrands disease, due to the fact that her period has started and doesn’t seem to end. I came upon your site quite by accident looking for art work. Needless to say the test has come back that she has a deficient factor VII in her blood and it keeps her from clotting correctly. It is related to Hemophelia (sp?) and is treatable but usually undiagnosed. Just thought I would share, maybe I was supposed to find your website.
January 30th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
Everyone, thanks for all the advice!
Jen, I had never thought about there being an underlying condition. I’ll have to ask about this. Thank you, so much.
July 28th, 2006 at 8:23 pm
[…] It took me years to get to the point where I could buy tampons in bulk. I don’t mind buying, carrying, using, or discussing tampons at length. But carrying a box of tampons the full length of my head and torso gives me the willies. Like HELLO! I BLEED! (Which at this point, I’m still totally fine.) (Here is where I lose my shit:) I BLEED A LOT! DUDE, LIKE SO FUCKING MUCH! I’m totally going to use this all in ONE month! I’ll be back in a few weeks! HIGH FIVE! […]
October 15th, 2006 at 11:40 am
As Daniel has, so do myself and my Boyfriend. Only Difference is with mine the blood is so hot any skin contact windsup as blisters… No joking. I have had tests, ive had a tampon looking thing with numbing med up my nose and fallowed up with a small camera to check everything out. Only to find out all i have that may key word “MAY” cause this phenom, is a polyp in operable. as for my BF he has some doozies himself but we have learned that a big change in surroundings causes his and also mine at times but what he does is with a q-tip wipes down the inside of his nostrils with vasoline or some petrolium based product. he did this for me once and i doubted it would work… first time and last time i ever doubt this ex boyscout. It worked like a charm. this can easily be ended as a happily everafter. because that was almost 2 yrs ago come New Years Eve at midnight. I was at his workplace witha few friends and they kinda left me high and dry with no-one to fallow back to the highway but thank gawd he was still on duty (security) and he noticed me bent over hanging out the drivers door of my car with not one but bothsides in full force bleeding and hot enough to see steam off the blood. He knew what to do and jumped into action.
Just something to keep in mind. If you do go swimming and have nosebleeds, is carry a small amount of Petrolium based with you and wipe it in your nose before entering. It also may help in keeping the chloren and other chemicals from irritating your nose so quickly. (Also may help keep water out too…)