Google Smackdown Monday
Dear reader who found my blog whilst googling, “I hate Kinkade,”
Will you marry me? Because you are the bomb. I hate Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light (TKPOT), too.
I mean I don’t know TKPOT personally, so I don’t hate him per se. But that shit he touts as art? No. Just, oh man, no. It’s pretty enough I guess, but it’s commercial and boring. And oh, it’s also commerical and boring.
I think I actually judge the intelligence of people by two factors. One, do you read fluffy romance novels? (Hint, the answer to this is always no, always. Yes, even as “light” reading, the answer is no.) And two, do you like TKPOT? (Again, no, the answer is always no.)
I mean, you can walk smack into a wall and I will still think you are brilliant. Tell me you love TKPOT and pull out a novel with a bare-chested man on the cover and you will be lost to me forever.
Because really? Painter of light? Are you kidding me, TKPOT? Have you seen a Caravaggio? Do you know tenebrism? Chiaroscuro? Sha-dow? This is painting light. Look, look now.
The Martyrdom of St Matthew (detail)
1599-1600
As I was saying, dear reader, I love you and your anti-Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light googling habit.
Sincerely,
Melissa
January 16th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
I detest Thomas Kinkade (deep cleansing breaths). He is so UNORIGINAL. Oh, Tom, another village, I wasn’t expecting that!!! Or, another picture of a white gazebo surrounded by flowers? You’ve only made 500 others just like it…..please continue.
January 16th, 2006 at 10:58 pm
Oh, at everytime I see the guy at the top of your page now, I hear the “do dah dah do, Imperial” margarine song in my head. Sorry, I’m sure it totally ruined it.
January 17th, 2006 at 8:01 am
OMG Melissa,
How beautiful is that painting?
Makes Thomas Kincade’s “work” look like something Maggie did in daycare.
January 17th, 2006 at 11:56 am
Ditto Anne’s comment. Awful, awful, awful. But he is rich, rich, rich. Guess that just means we need more people like you out there educating the rest of the world on what REAL art is.
January 17th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
I HATE Thomas Kinkade stuff too. But my parents LOVE him. I got them two prints this Christmas and you would have thought I shit gold at their house or something. Ugh.
I LOVE the Martyrdom of St. Matthew. How beautiful and powerful. And yes, I know what you mean about certain books. I cringe when I see Nicolas Sparks novels in the Literature section at Borders. And I gag when I see the “works” of “Danielle Steele”.
But I’d hate to have you come over to see my house. I have lots of “cheap art” on the walls. Not prints but paintings from Deck the Walls and Target.
January 17th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Lisa, I totally have prints and cheap stuff from regular stores like Garden Ridge and Target! I don’t have one painting, even.
January 18th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
i saw a painting in a museum in belgium (i think), and i can’t remember the name of the painting, but it was by gerhardt richter, and it was a painting of two candles. and i would have sworn that the flames were actual sources of light that you would have been able to see in a pitch black room. that was a stunning painting of light.
January 18th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Welcome.
That painting sounds amazing!
We have a Richter in town here, of a woman, and it looks just like a photograph. Each strand of her hair is infused with light.
January 18th, 2006 at 11:32 pm
OMG. I totally LOVE Garden Ridge and Gordmann’s even for what my hubby calls, “cheap art.” So yeay. Ok, you can come over to my house ANY TIME. And don’t you just love a sis in law with a bit of snarkiness. I love mine for that reason too!
January 20th, 2006 at 9:11 am
You forgot: He’s not just Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light, he’s Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Lightâ„¢.” Mustn’t forget the â„¢ (that’s TM for the visually impaired), for yes indeed, the pompous git has actually gone so far as to trademark this description of himself, and that is the most telling part of this insult to every other visual artist on the planet. (Like we’re not all painters of light. Duh, if there were no light, there’d be no painting in the first place.)
I read a nasty, nasty article about his mall “galleries” and how he has hired people to “custom highlight” (at additional optional cost, of course) any reproduction (and they’re all reproductions) a customer might select. I cannot tell you how much this pisses me off, nor on how many levels.
Sometimes I call myself “Sara, Painter of Darkâ„¢.” I don’t actually care if people call me “Sara, Painter of Bizarre Oddities” or “Sara, Painter of Utter Crap,” as long as they never forget the â„¢. ‘Cause, you know, that â„¢ is what makes the money shot.
Gah. Puke.
January 28th, 2006 at 12:38 am
[…] Second, after all this TKPOT talk, I needed to pick a little something that once again showcased what painting light really means. And people, it doesn’t mean yellow streaks out of another cottage window. […]
January 28th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
i just have to echo the above comments and say thank you for pointing out that kinkade is, indeed, worthless.
last summer, i was on a cruise with my boyfriend and his family (a whole ‘nother story), and we went to an art auction on board for fun. they had some really cool stuff, but you know what was selling like hotcakes? kinkade. you’d only get like two bidders on these really beautiful paintings - paintings that i would’ve bought in a second if had that kind of money to spare. and people are throwing their credit cards around over kinkades??
i almost vomited.
October 31st, 2006 at 6:58 pm
The problem here is that WE ARE ALL experiencing a time when the notion of ‘a new way’ to paint, sculpt, take photographs, make lithographs, draw, write, sing, play something, HAVE ALREADY been done. There are no new ideas. There are not really any new techniques.
Sure, Kinkade paints generic landscapes filled with light and nostalgia for what the world might be like…if only dirt didn’t exist. Who cares what he’s painting, at least he’s making a living off of doing something that he LOVES. And if people are uneducated enough to think it’s great and worth all that money then GOOD FOR HIM!! We have every right to not like what he’s making but ya gotta give him props for making it work to his advantage.
In addition, people BUY that crap because even if they don’t like it, THEY’VE HEARD of Thomas Kinkade. People have a hard time buying art unless they think someone else is going to agree that it’s special or of value. I know some GREAT painters who are far more skilled and original than TKPOL but it’s difficult to your name out to the world outside of your art school classmates, siblings and extended family members.
For Thomas Kinkade, I urge you to share some of your vast wealth with those of us who are still struggling to make a living making our art.
Thank you and goodnight.
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